Thursday, September 22, 2016

Finding the "Ability" in "Dis"abiliy

When your Ability is a moving target, 

finding the balance and productivity.

You are disabled.
What does that mean?
What are your first thoughts?
What do others think of those disabled?

Judgement day is an actual day if you are ever, ever are going to get Social Security to help you survive.

Finally you think. Some sort of income, insurance coverage once again. 
Except, disability comes with all sorts of challenges.  First off, normal things
that people take for granted, 
are more difficult. 

Everyday life takes more time,
 more effort.

Much more emotional effort, perhaps 
where none existed before.

Having a disability is not like being on a
 treadmill, but more like
a roller coaster ride. With my arthritis, one
day I can be fine, the next day I can't move.

And that's beyond the daily struggles.

I used to go to the gym because it made me feel great and it helps maintain weight.

Now, going to the gym 
is like a full time job.

Getting out of bed takes thought. 
I have to think before I move or I can injure myself.

Every morning, 
my body has a violent fight 
with itself, the pain is immense 
and frequently nauseating. 

It's not a pretty sight.

After about 15-30 minutes, I'm ready
to head downstairs for some iced green tea, water and then some coffee.

After 2 hours I can function, to 
whatever degree I might.

I can't sit, stand or lay down comfortably
for more than an hour without pain.

Pain is totally consuming not only 
physically but also mentally. 

Some days it's gym,
 try to accomplish something,
 then meditation leading to a nap.



If my rhythm gets thrown off, the
I have to consider all the mental
and physical effort to get something done.

Like a doctors appointment. Or, a birthday
party. Dinner at a friends.

Daily I only have a finite amount of energy with no fuel gauge, so it's impossible
how I'm going to feel 2 weeks from now.

Sometimes the gas just runs out,
and I melt like ice cream on
a hot sunny summer day.


We recently attended the 
Connecticut Open
Tennis in New Haven. 
We do this annually.

Most mornings I would go back to bed.
Just being out and about everyday is very
stressful on my body.

And don't get me started about riding in
cars! 
I have trouble getting in and out of a car, 
let alone sit in one for a long time.
It's akin to torture.



Hey, but life goes on.
I want to enjoy it and be in the 
moment as much as I can.

And I can't give up.

I try to stay positive, healthy and 
I find peace in my photography 
and my Photoblogumentary.

I wish I could have kept working and
contributing, but you can't anymore
when everyday is a mystery.

My doctors say at least I can joke and laugh about it.

What most people don't see is the tears of the clown.

Hang in there #spoonies and

Keep up the Good Fight!





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